Moving on, Mindfully.Mar 28, 2023
A lovely student of mine has packed up, and sold from her home of 30 years and has moved to Scotland. Choosing to rent for a few weeks in an air b+b and taking time to adjust and make decisions.
Having had the experience of the big down size myself and selling my family home I understand about the emotional attachment to our things and how hard to can be to let go. This of course can be applied to any situation that takes courage to move on from.
However what impressed me about my student was her ability to share with me how her mindfulness practice helped her to be present in this time of upheaval and change. I also know how it was for her to process the concepts of mindfulness having joined my classes through curiosity about the subject.
She has agreed to let me share some of her words here as I they are a gift to those who are also curious about the practice.
First of all she admitted to not being a great diary / journal writer but observes that but just writing a few things down was a useful thing to do.
I always have remind students that we don’t have to be able or certainly perfect at journaling. It is just a useful practice. No skill required.
This is her story in her own words.
We got packed up and out of our house last Friday and once again I am so sorry I missed my last class. I was very upset about that as the class and people in it have been a huge part of my life. And that issue of time ....so much of it yet I couldn’t make it to the class! However, have stopped beating myself up about it and let it go. We thought we were reasonably organised but it just became overwhelming ....32 years is a long time in one house.
We're in an airbnb holiday cottage on a farm in East Lothian for 6 weeks which is very nice but everywhere is a drive ....no popping to the coop for milk here! It's made me realise I definitely couldn’t live very rurally permanently .....and as you always say "it's the knowing" that's important. I'm trying not to stress about what happens next and have just given myself the first week to decompress a bit ...try and eat and sleep well, get outside etc.
I'd like to thank you very much for everything you have done for me in the last few years. From beginning with one class a week to two yoga classes and then the mindfulness , it has been invaluable. Most of our stuff has gone into long term storage but the yoga mat is part of my luggage allowance to bring with me, that's how important it is.
The mindfulness work made me very aware in the couple of weeks leading up to the move as to just how I was feeling and to recognise that it was okay to have mixed feelings, to feel overwhelmed, anxious and quite tearful. To know that it would pass helps. While the lead up to a big event is scary it is definitely much better once it is behind you because you only look forward.
I didn't announce to everyone what my plans were until I was sure it was going to happen . It was no secret, there was a for sale sign outside the house and i told some friends. However, I was very aware of the 'drama' that can be caused by telling everyone and was keen to avoid this .....from our mindfulness work we have talked a lot about drama and I feel that can cause a lot of stress so decided to be low key. It helped me to feel in control and that is important. It also helped me to be quiet and sanguine, if the house didn’t sell I'd just carry on with life.
The mindfulness work also helped me to realise there were some things I could control in the house sale and some that I couldn’t, and not to try and speculate or guess what the buyers agenda might be because thats just a waste of energy. But then it all went out the window in the last week and I couldn't really use my mindfulness work apart from "This will pass" which I guess this alone is an important thing to keep in your mind.
So from me I say thanks for sharing this story, we are all familiar with it. I love the part about not creating drama. One of my personal mantras these days is “its what I don’t do that I enjoy the most”.
All good things.
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