Bedtime Stories and how they impact on how we go to sleep, or not.
Sep 09, 2024
Blog for September news letter
How do you go to sleep?
A big part of my sleep classes is simply talking with the participants about sleep. How we sleep and how to improve it. We often want a quick fix to a problem, a bit like a sticking plaster, and it’s no easy journey delving into the root cause of a problem. However I always advocate small steps towards being better with ideas on how to create a regular bed time routine.
Speaking is an important part of the class. It can feel intense but it can also be playful. Sharing what works and what doesn’t, being open to advice and overcoming resistance to change. All contributes to our enhanced sense of community and support.
Our stories and experiences do help us. We can be inspired to take action and also to become aware that we are not on our own with these problems.
There are a lot of us who are wide awake at 2am.
I have a friend called Julia who shared with me that when she was nine years old she was on a sleep over and her pall simply said “now we go to sleep”. Julia asked “how do we do that”? The girl replied, “my mum says just close your eyes and rest”. Julia told me that she had never had that explained to her before and to this day still uses the advice.
One of the things that I suggest when we are not sleeping is that we speak kindly to ourselves. Use soothing words in the same way that we would comfort a child when they struggle to get back to sleep. This is a bit easier if you have good memories of a bed time routine yourself or have created one for children. If this is the case you will know how hard it can be to structure the routine and stick to it.
I don’t remember having any firm rules around bed time but I am the youngest of three so I guess the routine was already in place and I just followed. I do though remember one of my brothers who used to tease me a lot scaring me into bed with the fear of monsters being underneath but this was counter balanced by the other brother who would lean into the TV program The Waltons and we would go through the whole night time routine of repeating night Jim Bob, night Mary Ellen. This one I carried on with my kids and we still use it for a laugh when we are altogether.
Sometimes these chats can begin to touch on deeper issues where perhaps we might be able to identify where the past is impacting on the present. It can feel like there is no end to this type of work and that is often the case. They're times when our emotions will be stronger and may have a negative impact on us but the practices that we learn in the class will help to manage this.
Beginning to find a way forward. Naming our emotion, how does it feel, breath work and practicing being present all help us to establish healthier thought patterns. Meditations such as loving kindness is an easy go to when needed and a good practice to work with. Diminishing the flight or flight response when we react emotionally to thoughts that challenge us. The main aspect of this work through talking is to identify the issue and start to make changes. The practices that we learn help create a strong foundation for sustainable change and improvement to our health.
A friend asked me recently if I slept well. I said that as I am a sleep coach I can answer this question easily and also quantify it. On average I sleep ok 80%, sometimes even very well. The rest of the time I know what to do about it and take steps to prevent poor sleep impacting on my health.
Want to know how I can help you to Sleep Better? Book at 30 minute session with me for £30. You will get some insights into your sleep patterns and ideas on how to make improvements.
You can redeem the cost of this session If you want to book 1-1 sessions with me. £250 for 6 sessions - £30 = £220.
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